Connecting with people but in peace with yourself..

You have to connect with many people throughout your life..some by default,some by choice and some surprizingly as you walk through various seasons of life.
During this connection you experience variety of emotions,right from anger,love,awe to resentment.With those whom you connect well with,you harness a positive feeling and the ones with whom you always disagree you harness a negative feeling.In some cases of whom you have positive feelings but they don't fullfill your expectations you start getting a negative feeling.
Bottom line...You keep losing your peace now and then..
Now question arrises how do you maintain your peace in all these connections??
Lets begin with those with whom you never felt cordial...
A time comes when you know that your getting angry on them and losing your temper..just wait for a sec and think of the following:
1) Is your anger really justified?
2) Is the person to whom you are about to express your anger really going to understand your genuine anger?
3) Is that person really important to you?
4) Are you important to that person?
5) Is this anger going to disturb your peace of mind for the day? and if Yes, then is it worth it?
6) Are you sure you are not going to regret this anger later?
(Here anger is the only word i am mentioning,but resentment,bad-mouthing,prejudices..i mean them all)
If ans to all above questions indicate that you harness anger then do it..because then that action would be a justified one.
But even if ans to one of the question is indicating that you refrain from getting angry..then Control!! Best way to control is to smile..And smile not because you belittle them(sly smile)..smile because you are trying to control anger and that is a great achievement! Let the purity of smile penetrate your anger and destroy it and you will find your peace intact.
In the cases when you have the justified anger..let your anger be focused on the cause rather than the individual and move ahead in your thoughts after you are done with it without any prejudices..because remember..1) Those who try from heart to understand,will understand your justified anger. 2)Those who don't want to understand,whatever you do,you are not going to be entertained by them. 3) And if at all lets consider that even after really trying they are not able to figure out your anger,then understand that you are maybe for e.g speaking in a different language that they dont understand.Now if your utterings are important to them they will try and learn your language..if they don't you might as well will get to know what you are for them.But even after learning your language they fail to understand you it might be that you both are on different frquency of thoughts(Here don't belittle yourself or them if your frequencies dont match) but unless you somewhere reach a same frequency for sometime you both are not going to understand each other,so whats the use of anger anyway!
NOW, we enter the most trecherous area of..Connecting with people with your inner peace intact..We are talking of the People with whom you are cordial,in love with..
You would be surprized at why i consider this most difficult than the non-cordial ones..But you will see that with some time you will push the thoughts regarding the non-cordial people out of our mind..but the ones you love or have loved linger in thoughts for a long long time..
Everything goes well with the cordial ones..untill they knowingly or unknowingly hurt you.
Now here again 'Unknowingly' and 'knowingly' play a key part.
Consider the first category the ones that hurt you unknowingly..following is the process through which one can try and keep inner peace intact..
1) Wait a little for them to realize their own mistake;because if they have hurt you unkowingly have faith they will realize it sooner or later and apologize because they never ment to hurt you.
2) How do u know that their apology was sincere..by making sure as time goes they dont hurt you in same manner again(Be prepared for some some unfortunate incidences or misjudgements though).
3) If they don't realize themselves,let some time pass and if still the matter is troubling you and you feel you are justified and not going to regret digging the past..ask subtlely about that thing to them.
4) Undersatnd if they are special to you and you to them,things will be fine sooner or later.
(Remember..Believe all and trust a few..and may those few may well be tested before that..and if you happen to make wrong decisions during this..then accept your fault..apologize to yourself and strive for better judgement..if you were tricked by a master trickster call it hardluck but learn lessons from that experience..may be you had been put through a test of fire to yield a better steel!)
NOW,those who belong to the category where they are the cordial ones who have somewhere hurt you knowingly..
Following could be the reasons they did that: 1) Unfortunately unknowingly or perhaps knowingly you had hurt them before and they are retaliating the same may be.(Be honest while answering that to yourself.)If you are at fault go and apologize..it will ease all the tensions fast.
2)Maybe temporarily they have lost their balance due to some other reason..or lost their balance in the sense..they couldn't handle ego,jealousy,temper,et al..Ask them what it is..negotiate it out.If that unbalance was their temporary phase talk with them and they will phase out of it soon.
3)Maybe they never really considered you that close! In that case realize that what happens with you was not their concern really an if thats the case understand it will never matter..if u cry,shout,et all..so then if thats the case why lose your peace due someone who is really not bothered about it.Why create a concern for you in those people who care for you due to this!
Bottom line..you'll come to know that the more efficiently you can apply and carry out this processes the lesser becomes the chance of you losing peace while connecting with people...